I use to have this nightmare as a kid, which I never remembered once I woke up. All I remember is that it felt like getting crushed under a weight of thousand mountains. For some reason these days I see this nightmare even when I am awake. I know right now you are thinking, what the heck has happened to me, why I am talking like this. But trust me just read this if you want to and then forget it. Dont ever talk to me about this, dont try to help me.
I want to jump in a pool and sit at its bottom and not hear anything thats going on around me. I dont want to feel the world around me. I want to stay in a moment, a single moment in time. A jiffy. That way the world around me will stop and I will have enough time to figure this one out. Because as of now I am clueless as to why, what, how and when this feeling got grip of me. There are a lot of other things that I should be doing right about this minute, but I am not. I should be writing my apps, I should be sleeping so that I am fresh in office tomorrow, I should be meditating to find out whats bugging me, but I am not. Am I procastinating figuring this one out? or Am I just too scared? or maybe even dumb to figure it out?
Or is it that I already know the answer but I just dont want to believe it......yet. Is this a problem of plenty or is it a lack of any? I am not sure yet. But the only way to get rid of this is to face it and fight it. I know I will come out victorious at the other end of this tunnel, but I dont know how long will I take to get through it.
I'll see you when I get there.
