This post was a long time coming.
I had wished that my last sunday in US is a memorable one. And as I am gods favourite kid, he granted my wish. Not exactly what I had in mind, but then thats the funny thing about wishes. There is never a perfect (flawless) wish.
It was a normal sunday morning, except for the fact that I had to deliver my car to the ahole (for reasons you will know later, real name Kawsar) who had bought it. We started from home me, Ashish, Ananth and Vipul. Ananth was my ride back home. The drive was going to be a long one some 80 miles one way. So with Ashish in the passenger seat I started with all enthusiasm. We stopped by the local Dunkin for donuts and coffee and in the mean while I gave my car a final wash in the drive thru. On our way out of the lot we clicked some snaps, after all this was my first car. Memories remain.
We drove about 40 miles on the NJ Turnpike (I-95N) and for some reason I needed to take a second look at the directions I had jotted down from google maps. And there it was revelation number one, I had forgotten the maps back home. But thats wasnt it, we could have managed without the map as Ananth had GPS in his car. But along with the maps I had also left the paperwork, car title, at home. Now losing my temper (at my stupidity) and patience, we decided to go back. We informed Ananth about the same and asked him to stay put until we returned.
After almost an hour and a half we returned to the same exact location and picked up the remaining 40 miles. In the mean while Mr.Ahole had called up on my cell some 2-3 times, wondering as to why we were taking so much time. So I had to do all the explaining and convince him that I will be there in next hour or so.
Now with extra 80 miles added to the trip my gas calculations went wrong and we had to stop for refueling. As a precautionary step I decided to throw in a bottle of gunk cleaner along with the gas. This is where I had revelation number two. As I pulled out of the gas station the check engine light came on. Now for those who dont know, a check engine light is something that shows up on your dashboard indicating that there was something wrong with the car/engine. It could be any reason from a partially closed fuel cap to a misfiring ingnition. But the thing about this light is no one would buy a car with this thing on. So for a minute I thought I was doomed.
After checking the fuel cap which was indeed open, I checked under the hood. Trust me I dont know anything about car engines, but then it just felt like the most logical thing and I did it anyways. That's when I remembered that Mr.Ahole and his friends were cheking under the hood and they had pulled out one of the connectors of the spark plug. It was only later that a mechanic told me that they had broken it. And I thought those Bangladeshi's knew what they were doing. Thanks alot Mr.Ahole.
So now I had only one thing to do, try and sell the car with the check engine light on. Since the car was running fine I decided to go all the way and take a chance. Thats when revelation number three came into lime light. Mr.Ahole's entire family was in the car business, buying and selling cars. From what it seemed they were into the business of ripping of innocent people like me of their money or cars or both. Mr.Ahole's elder brother lets call him Mr.B-hole (read Big Ahole) drove us to his brother-in-laws garage, who was going to check the car and confirm it was a good buy before I got the remaining payment. Now that pissed me off, I thought the deal was already on, why else would I drive 80miles to sell my car? But I guess that was revelation number four:Me being naieve and stupid, not necessarily in that order.
After almost an hour of questioning from all the B'desis who dressed and talked like wannabe african-americans, I had enough. However, one good thing did happen, the mechanic fixed the check-engine light. And confirmed that Mr.Ahole's friend who played around under the car's hood knew nothing about cars or spark plugs. After all the hassels Mr.Ahole wasnt willing to buy the car for something that was wrong because of him and his friends. I lost it there and then and called off the deal. But thats when revelation 5 came in, I was too hasty and decided to return him the toked he had left with me. Now why would I do that, I didnt need to. I shouldnt have, but I guess I was scared getting beaten up by pseudo african-american-bangladesi's in a Bghetto (a bangladesi ghetto) or maybe I was too righteous. Whatever the reason I made a mistake.
Mr.B-hole however was a little considerate and apologized for the inconvenience his brother had caused me, yeah like it mattered. He also offered me $100 for the fuel that they had costed me. I could have brought fuel worth the amount and put it to good use, to burn them with it!! But then again I was on their turf, and more importantly I am not a violent man.
So on my way back I was really agitated, for one I had only 1 more week to sell my car and no buyers, because I had already turned all of them down , after my deal with Mr.Ahole was set on Friday night. Funny isn't it, but wasn't funny at all back then.
On our way back, we decided to take route-1 back home instead of the interstate. It took us longer than it would have if we would have stuck with the interstate. But I did say it was one hell of a Sunday, now didn't I. So on the final stretch on Rt-1 I had floored the gas pedal, and when I did let go of it, the car wouldnt slow down. This was revelation number 6. I did kick it a couple of times but no luck. I took me a couple of seconds to digest the fact that my gas pedal was stuck. So here I was on Rt-1 at 65mph with my gas pedal stuck and nowhere to go but right as the light straight ahead was RED. I jumped the brakes which did slow the car down to 30mph but not any further. And as soon as I eased the brakes the car would once again race to 65mph. So I turned right on the light and pulled over into the first spot of open land visible. It might sound simple but it was anything but simple. Now I know the intensity of the movie scene where an actor driving down the hill suddenly realizes that his brakes don't work.
After I successfully pulled my car over into a patch of open land by the Delaware river, the only logical thing to do was to pull the keys. That did stop the car but with some nasty jerks before it came to dead stop. Finally, we had to call a tow truck to load the carcass and haul it to a repair shop.
With such an exciting Sunday there was only one logical thing left to do, relive every moment of it over a six pack of beers. And that we did me, Ananth, Ashish and Vipul. Cheers brothers!!
